Female
Domination - April
15, 2005
As well
as being the title of Elise Sutton's long-awaited and
well-received book, Female Domination is rapidly
becoming the sex du jour for an ever-increasing number
of mainstream couples. Along with other
out-of-the-closet carnal intimacies such as fetishes
(feet & toes, nylons, leather, smoking….),
homosexuality (Shhh! Don't tell the republicans!!),
masturbation (mutual and solo), strap-on sex (Surely,
dear female reader, you knew this?), and the widely
embraced metrosexual phenomenon (Google "sissy" or
"feminization" or "panty boy." I dare you!), the male
desire to surrender control to an erotically powerful
woman is no longer the "dirty little secret" it once
was.
Being currently (and ever so
blissfully!) immersed in Ms. Sutton's book, and having a
certain proclivity toward Dominant Phone Sex, I find
this to be a singularly delicious expansion of the
ever-evolving sex games boys and girls like to play. In
other words, this is not your father's phone sex any
more! In fact, this is not even your father's (or even
your mother's, Goddess forbid!) wet dream! The playing
field has not only been leveled, but, irrevocably,
skewed. And the allure of that sexy umpire-ess ordering
you, a lowly bat boy, to crawl to third base and kiss
her leather boots, is just too intoxicating to
resist.
While I would never lay claim to
being an expert in human sexuality, I am in the business
of creating fantasy. More than occasionally I not only
find myself with a front row seat from which to purview
the conventional and not-so-conventional desires of the
submissive male but am the privileged Phone Mistress who
will mind-fuck him into subspace. Submissive men come in
all shapes and sizes and flavors and perversions. What I
find so delightfully disarming about these exquisite
creatures is that they are --nine times out of ten-- men
of serious substance and quiet dignity. I can always
count on them to be polite, congenial, accommodating,
quick-witted, and downright, intoxicatingly clever.
These men, over-all, are a sweet breath of fresh air.
They have no hidden agendas. They dwell confidently and
authoritatively in their every day and relatively
well-balanced lives. And it is, indeed, a good life:
Fulfilling, successful, accomplished…perhaps, even
self-actualized. In fact, if we daughters had been
raised by fathers like these, there would be no need for
Jungian therapists, motivational gurus, self-help books,
or Twelve Step recovery programs.
And,
therein, beloved kinksters, lies the rub! When one is
perceived as "in charge" in his everyday life, where
does he go to find that sexual rapture that only can be
realized when we give up control? While, courtesy of the
Internet, we are all experiencing an expanding sexual
consciousness (Even if to simply know, "You are not
alone"), the submissive male has somewhat of a quandary
on his hands. Most likely he has presented himself to
his inamorata as, at the very least, a vanilla lover,
and even more likely, an aggressive one. After all, that
is what is expected of the "normal" man, right? While he
and the rest of us are realizing that our nasty secret
desires are neither as nasty nor secret as we once
thought, he finds himself unable to bring this au
courant flavor to the sexual table he, himself, has set.
How does he tell his dinner partner (Perhaps, his
cherished wife of 10 or 20 years?) that his palate now
craves spicier fare?
I often tell my
submissive callers that they are really just romantics
on steroids. Even after a lifetime of pursuing,
courting, loving, fucking, and perhaps marrying women, a
man continues to be both perplexed and enamored with the
ever-illusive Feminine Mystique. Not to torture a
cliche', but as has been the case since Eve bewitched
Adam (Honestly, how much sweet-talk do you really think
it took?) into eating her forbidden fruit, women have
been dragging men around by their dicks. This really
isn't anything new; its just been "super-sized," so to
speak. Even in a situation where the guy is supposedly
the dominant, let's not fool ourselves, ladies and
gentlemen. If his lady friend does not concede to
dressing in evocative slut-wear, painting her lips
cock-sucking red, donning the proverbial ball gag, and
submitting to a bit of elaborate rope binding (not to
mention some delicious bottom spanking), "Master" is not
going to have an orgasm anytime in the foreseeable
future!
There are as many variations to the
D/s (Domination/submission) relationship as there are
enthusiasts. This is the party of the season, and it
seems everybody from the bootblack (male) to the CEO
(female) has shown up. So here we are, all at the same
party, just wearing different party hats. From the
sensually sublime to the viscerally extreme, name your
poison: Body worship, face sitting, bondage, forced
feminization, cock and ball torture (cbt), orgasm denial
& control, cuckolding, erotic hypnosis & mind
control, humiliation (verbal &/or public), toilet
training, objectification, and more, so very much
more…it's here for the taking.
Wallflower
type? Looking for a little objectification? Grab your
dick, take a seat, and don't you dare move a muscle! So
you think you're the life of the party and wanna be
Mistress's party favor? Dangle that pretty pink
lampshade over your head and jump up on the coffee table
for some contemptuous browbeating while you squeal like
a pig. What? You're looking for the buffet? Right over
here, darling! Now, put your head back and Mistress will
just take a seat right here on your face. Mmmm…. Yes, it
is a nice spread! And you? You say you're not a guest,
that you're the pinata? Oh! They're waiting for you in
the dungeon. Just crawl down those stairs and around the
corner. That's right. Follow the smell of leather. No,
it won't hurt much.
Not much into parties? More
of the homebody type?
Well....
If
you have been a reasonably well-behaved partner in the
course of a long-term relationship and think your
ladylove is ready to meet the new & improved
submissive you, you might want to start with some
user-friendly (pun intended!) reading material. Elise
Sutton's book, Female Domination, is an excellent
starting point. Because the author practices the FemDom
lifestyle (she is married to her submissive) and
regularly counsels female-dominant couples (her
educational background is in psychology), the material
she presents is backed by both personal and professional
experience. Giving readers an intimate, firsthand peek
into the everyday lives of "normal" couples who just so
happen to be ardent practitioners of female domination,
she presents an eloquent argument for the logic of the
female-dominant relationship. Combining passionate
commentary with a quiet spiritualism, Elise shares her
personal history and evolution, examines the continuing
social trend toward female empowerment, and explores the
psychological "rightness" of male submission. This is a
book from an intelligent heart that will speak to you
and your lady's emotions, intellect, and (keep your
fingers crossed!) libido.
Need I say more?
Now, go buy that book before I have to bitch-slap
you!
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